I have decided to become a member of the mostly monogamous, non-marsupial male mammalian mob that includes my afore mentioned primate cousins.
When Betelgeuse, Vulcan, Saturn’s 42nd moon (named !xo!x after the discoverer’s nephew’s half sister’s favorite spoonerism-affected-and-hence-palindrome-loving Swahili rapper) and the International centre of Vedic learning are suitably aligned on the 18th of April 2011, I shall get engaged to my girl-friend, Jessica Irani.
To avoid excessive media exposure, for the lack of sufficient funding and in accordance with the strict tenets of minimalism (my adopted religion), our engagement is going to be a quiet family dinner. However, the wedding, which should happen almost exactly two thousand and eleven years after the spurious albeit commonly accepted birth date of one Mr.J.C shall be (if I have my way in the face of gentle familial discouragement and considerable practical difficulty) a beach-side party with the strict dress code of shorts/skirts (as your preference may be, irrespective of gender), naked feet and non-naked torsos.
Do pass this along to anyone I may have missed.
Thou hast been distant, but looming…I finally succumb to thy charms.
Mr. Independence and Sir Self-determination,
It has been quite a ride. This time, I am afraid it’s not au revoir, but adieu.